All Hail Campus Protectionism!
Check out this satirical letter I wrote for the Opinions section of MTSU's student newspaper Sidelines. If it reads like my previous satirical letter in Sidelines this is quite intentional.
Aramark, our food services provider, recently enacted a rule at MTSU that student organizations could only have one bake sale per semester (excluding Greek organizations of course). We speculate that this is because our YAL chapter sold too many tasty tamales and apple pies. MTSU is not the kind of campus where it is easy to walk or drive 5 minutes away for lunch at back in time for class, so the cartel granted by contract particularly effects what choices and prices students have to deal with. Aramark is a large company and may even be doing the same thing on your campus.
Anyway, on with the letter:
Dearest Aramark:
You, my favorite of food-service giants, have recently undertaken some measures, which I must praise.
Specifically, you have insisted that a section of your contact with MTSU be enforced – the one that binds radicals and hooligans in "student organizations" to a satisfactory one bake sale per semester.
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